I just moved into a new apartment. It's nice. Not the fanciest place in the world, but who needs fancy anyway? I have two pretty cool (if slightly bonkers) roommates who come with four cats. Two of them are awesome, and the other two are elitist bitches who make me feel self-conscious. Cats have this way of judging that is uncannily intimidating.
Anyway, I've noticed that there are some wasps at this complex that have a propensity for chilling on my front door. This is upsetting to me. I don't like things that fly and sting, and I have an uncontrollable urge to kill any such organism that invades my personal space. It hasn't been a huge deal, but sometimes there's a wasp sitting on my front door and I am compelled to remove a shoe and beat the hell-beast into oblivion with it. Today, however, there were a SHITLOAD OF THEM, all huddled together in a corner above my door, obviously plotting my demise as vengeance for the serial murder of their brethren. That, or building a nest so as to propagate their species. I am not okay with either of these scenarios. There were little wasp skyscrapers under construction. They were ruled by a parliamentary democracy. It was terrifying; I think they might have been close to establishing a viable economy that would rival our own.
I did the only sane thing one can do when confronted with a fight-or-flight situation involving THESE THINGS: I drove to Kroger and bought some Raid Wasp/Hornet Spray. The citizens of Waspopolis refer to this as a WMD. Luckily they didn't have time to impose any sanctions or challenge my sovereignty because I proceeded to chemically obliterate their society with my superior weaponry. It was amazing. I knew it would work, I just severely underestimated the potency of this particular pest control product. Within seconds, my doorstep was littered with the corpses of the direct victims, as well as the writhing, agonized bodies of the survivors of the initial attack. It was a glorious victory for humanity. Toby Keith should write a song about it.
So I guess this whole post has been one long advertisement for Raid Wasp/Hornet Spray. Have a terrifying insect problem? GET THIS SHIT!
